


Open Your Eyes

by donsboy



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Anger, Angst, First Time, Gen, Love finally, M/M, Realizations, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:21:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21712903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donsboy/pseuds/donsboy
Summary: Sequel to "Maybe If I Close My Eyes".
Relationships: Ken Hutchinson & David Starsky, Ken Hutchinson/David Starsky
Kudos: 10





	Open Your Eyes

Hutch ran up the stairs to his apartment as if the hounds of hell were on his heels. When he got inside, he closed the door and let the tears he'd been holding back fall freely. After his crying spell, he went to his desk for pen and paper. He wrote out his resignation and left to go put it on Captain Dobey's desk. He checked the time, and saw that the captain would be gone for the day. He hoped that was the case because he really didn't want to answer a bunch of questions. After he left Parker Center, he stopped at his favorite liquor store and bought a bottle of whiskey. His plan was to get drunk and try to forget for a while. Halfway through the bottle, the phone began to ring. Hutch knew that it was Starsky on the line, and he damn sure didn't want to talk to him. When the ringing stopped, Hutch took the phone off the hook and kept drinking, hoping to ease the pain.

Starsky knew Hutch was home because he had taken the phone off the hook. He was starting to feel guilty about the way he'd talked to Hutch earlier, and he wanted to apologize to his friend. He also wanted to apologize for being insensitive to Hutch's problem. Starsky knew what it felt like to love someone and get turned down. It hurt like nine kinds of hell, and Hutch was trying to tell Starsky that he was having a hard time turning how he felt off. Starsky had been there, and what did he do? He told Hutch to act his age and face up to the facts. Some friend he was! He tried to call Hutch once more, then decided to go over to his place. He really wanted to make sure that Hutch was alright. He got in his car and headed to Venice Place. On the way, he kept thinking about Hutch and what he wanted to say to his friend.

When he arrived, he went up the steps and knocked on the door. He wouldn't do that any other time, but was trying to be considerate to Hutch. When Hutch came to the door, Starsky quickly figured out two things: 1. Hutch had been crying, and 2. Hutch was drunk. Hutch glared at Starsky and asked; “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I came by to check on you, and to talk to you, Hutch....”

“What could you possibly have to say to me? I thought you made yourself perfectly clear this afternoon.....”

“Are you gonna let me in so we can talk?”

“I don't know that I want you here..... besides, what is so important that you had to come over?”

“I wanted to try to apologize to you for acting the way I did, and saying the things I did.....”

“Oh, so now you're sorry, huh?”

“Hutch, please let me in so we can talk.....” Hutch didn't say anything. He walked away from the door while Starsky let himself in. Hutch went looking for the whiskey bottle and was sad to see that it was empty. He threw it into the trash and sat down across from Strasky at the kitchen table........

“So talk, Starsky.....”

“Hutch, I was a real ass toward you this afternoon, and I realize now that I was being very insensitive also. I wasn't being much of a friend, and I want you to know that I'm here for you.....”

“Here for me for what? To ridicule me, to find a way to keep me away from you, to pity me? Is that what you're here for? Because if that's why you came by, you don't have to worry about that. Once my resignation goes through, you won't have to worry about me at all, buddy boy!”

“Hutch, what's this about your resignation?”

“Oh, don't look so damned surprised, Starsky....... I put my resignation on Dobey's desk after I left your place this afternoon.....”

“But why, Hutch?”

“Because I tried to tell you that being around you all the time hurts too damn bad! You obviously didn't hear me because you didn't want to. All you did was throw it up in my face that I needed to act my age and face up to the fact that nothing was gonna happen. You must think I'm awfully fucking stupid! I know when I'm not wanted......”

“Hutch, buddy, you're right about the fact that I didn't hear you. The truth was I didn't want to hear you because I didn't know what to do or say to help you. Instead, I ran off at the mouth with some macho bullshit. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for that, and as for you not being wanted, that's simply not true. I want you around,but I don't know how to ease the pain you feel when you are around me. If there was something I could do to help, I would do it in a heartbeat.....”

“Would you? Would you really?”

“Yes, I would...”

“Okay..... here's the deal: how about we try to stay away from each other for a while, to see if being away from you helps my situation.....”

“If that's what you want, Hutch....”

“It is...... it has to be that way. I hope you understand that I'm not doing this to hurt you or punish you, Starsk......”

“I understand.....” Starsky wouldn't look at Hutch because he didn't want his friend to see how much this was hurting him, even if some of it was his own fault.....

“Phone calls are okay every now and then, but no face-to-face contact for awhile......”

“Got it.....”

“Be careful going home.....”

“Bye Hutch.....” Sarsky left the apartment, got onto the Torino, and drove home, thinking of Hitch the whole way. After Starsky left, Hutch washed up and went to bed, satisfied with his decision.

The next morning, Hutch was nursing a massive hangover when the phone rang......

“Hutchinson......”

“Hutchinson, what is this paper on my desk saying that you've resigned?”

“It means just what it says, Cap'n....... I have resigned from the BCPD......”

“Does Starsky know about this?”

“He does.....”

“Why, Hutchinson?”

“I'm burning out, Captain..... I don't feel that I can do my job effectively, and I don't want to put Starsky at risk......”

“I appreciate your candor, Detective..... I'm going to need you to come down and fill out the correct paperwork and surrender your badge.....”

“Yes, sir.....”

“Thank you, Detective.....”

Dobey ended the call and Hutch knew he needed to do what Captain Dobey asked him to do. He got into the shower, dressed, and headed to Parker Center. When he arrived, Captain Dobey was in the squad room waiting for him. The two went into his office and Hutch began filling out the necessary paperwork. When he was done, he signed everything and turned his badge over to the captain.....

“I don't have to tell you that you will be missed around here.....”

“No, sir.....”

“I want you to know, son, that if there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to reach out to me.....”

“Thank you, Captain Dobey....”

The two men shook hands and Dobey escorted Hutch out of his office. Hutch stopped long enough to clean out his side of the desk he shared with Starsky and said goodbye to some of the men they had worked with. Box in hand, Hutch made the trip down the hallway leading from the squad room for the last time. He was glad Starsky wasn't here because that would have made things so much harder.

While Hutch was closing the book on his time at Bay City PD, Starsky was at home thinking about what had transpired in the past 24 hours. He'd lost his partner, and just might have lost his best friend in the process. He thought about the conversation he and Hutch had the night before, and he felt sad. Hutch had wanted space, and Starsky intended to give it to him, but that didn't mean he had to like it. He was so used to having the blond around, and now, Hutch wanted to be away from him. That's the part that hurt so bad, but if Starsky were to be completely honest, it was partly his fault.

When Hutch arrived home, he put his things fro the PD in the front closet, and went into his greenhouse. He worked with his plants and decided to go to the beach. He got everything he needed and headed out. He found a good spot and set up his beach chair. He set his cooler next to it and found the book he'd brought to read. He tried to read for a while, but it was no good. Starsky had crept into his thoughts, and he couldn't concentrate. Though he'd been drunk when he talked to Starsky, he remembered everything that he'd said, and he intended to stick to it. It really was necessary because he needed to find a way to deal with his feelings. He got up, gathered his things, and headed back to his car. When he got back to his apartment, he decided to take a nap. While he was sleeping, he dreamed that he and Starsky were making love. When Hutch woke up, he felt a familiar ache in his chest because he knew that making love with Starsky was just a fantasy, and that's all it ever would be. He was thinking that staying away from Starsky was going to be harder than he originally thought.

Time kicked into high gear, and before Hutch knew it, six months had passed. He'd heard from Starsky a few times, but they had yet to meet face-to-face. There were times that Hutch had wanted to call Starsky and ask him to come over, but had chickened out at the last minute. He knew deep down that he should get wanting Starsky out of his system because he was concerned about what it might be doing to their friendship. He decided that if he couldn't have Starsky the way he wanted, he could still try to be a friend to the man. After all, they'd been friends for years, and had weathered all sorts of storms. Hutch wondered why this one should be any different.

Starsky finished typing his last report of the day and asked his new partner, Ted Jacobs, if he wanted to go for a beer after shift. Jacobs had to take a rain check because his daughter was having a recital and he wanted to be there. Starsky said a rain check would be fine, and told him to say hello to the family for him. When he got home, he grabbed a beer and turned on the TV. After not finding anything to hold his interest, he decided to turn in early. His thoughts turned to Hutch as they did more and more these days, and Starsky wondered if he was going to have the dream tonight. He certainly hoped so. The first few time he had the dream, he was confused as to what it meant. The dream always started with him and Hutch kissing, and Hutch leading him to the bedroom. After a considerable amount of foreplay, they would make love. Starsky always woke up aroused, and would masturbate. After giving it considerable thought, he realized that even though he'd never had sex with a man, wanting it with Hutch was becoming a need he didn't want to deny.

A few days later, on his day off, Starsky called Hutch. Starsky was happy to hear his friend's voice, and Hutch certainly sounded happy to hear from him as well. The two exchanged pleasantries for a while and then Starsky asked Hutch if he could come see him. Hutch thought about it for a moment and told Starsky he was welcome to come by. Starsky asked when a good time would be to stop by and Hutch told him just about any time was good. Starsky asked if he could come by the following day, and Hutch said that would be fine. The guys talked a bit longer and then Starsky ended the call, saying he had some things to do, but would see him the next day. After Hutch spoke with Starsky, he did some house cleaning and made a list of things he needed from the market. When he finished shopping, he came home and put everything away. He watched TV and decided to make it an early night. Sleep was a long time coming because of the fact that Starsky was coming tomorrow, and Hutch was nervous.

The next morning around 11 A.M., Starsky knocked on Hutch's door. Hutch went to the door and opened it. He could tell something was on Starsky's mind. Hutch wasn't sure which one reached first, but the guys found themselves embracing just like they used to. When they separated, Hutch couldn't tell who was crying harder, him or Starsky. When they regained their composure, Hutch asked Starsky if he wanted some coffee. Starsky walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. Hutch brought the coffee and poured them each a cup. They talked about how they had been and Hutch asked about work. Starky talked to him about Jacobs, saying that he was a good cop, but he wasn't Ken Hutchinson. Hutch blushed and looked into his coffee cup. Starsky asked what Hutch had been up to, and he told him that he was thinking about showing some of his art. Starsky had always liked Hutch's paintings, and was glad he was getting them out there for people to see. The conversation continued in a similar vein, and when Hutch noticed it was lunch time, he asked Starsky if he wanted to get something to eat. Starsky asked if they could order a pizza because he really didn't want to go out.

After the pizza arrived, Hutch gave Starsky a root beer and had some iced tea for himself. While they were eating, Starsky told Hutch that he really needed to talk to him about something, and that it was important. Hutch grew concerned, and asked if Starsky was okay, and what was wrong. All Starsky would say was that they would talk after lunch. When lunch was over, Hutch cleared away the dishes and grabbed a beer for each of them.......

“So what's going on, Starsk?”

“Hutch, there's things I need to tell you, and I hope you can understand where I'm coming from....”

“I'll try, Starsk.....”

“The first thing I want to say is that I am so very sorry for the way I acted and for some of the things I said that night at my apartment. I was being an inconsiderate ass, and I would take it all back if I could......”

“Starsky, we can't go back and re-write history. I accept your apology, and I'm glad that you realized you made a mistake.....”

“Hutch, there's something I need to ask you about, and I think you'll understand why I'm asking you this question.....”

“What is it, Starsk?”

“Do you still have feelings for me?”

“What the hell?”

“Just answer the question, please?”

“Okay.... yes,I still have feelings for you..... what does that have to do with anything?”

“About two months ago, I started having very erotic dreams about the two of us being together.....”

“What brought that on?”

“I'm still not sure, but in my dream we kiss, we make out on the couch, and then we go to the bedroom.....”

“What happens then, Starsk?”

“We make love.....”

Hutch was stunned to hear about Starsky's dream. It was similar to the one he'd been having for the past two months. Hutch knew he needed to find out how serious Starsky was about this situation.....

“Starksy, when's the last time you got laid?”

“Two months ago”.....

“That seems like a long time for you, buddy.....”

“It is..... after the dream started, I went out with two different girls, and while we had a good time, I couldn't get it up for either one of them. I tried, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw you. Every time I had the dream, everything was in proper working order, and I even masturbated thinking about the dream.”

“So you're telling me that the females didn't do it for you, but a dream about me did.....”

“That's exactly right, Hutch.....”

“Starsky, I appreciate you being honest with me about all of this. It really means a lot to me. Now, I need you to do something for me......”

“Anything you need, Hutch......”

“Let's sleep on this tonight, and try to think of all the questions we need answered. That way, we can have a better understanding of this......”

“I can do that for you, Hutch.....”

“Good..... I'll see you tomorrow, then?”

“Yes..... thank you, Hutch......”

“For what , Starsk?”

“For agreeing to see me and not holding everything against me.....”

Hutch pulled Starsky into a big hug and thanked him for reaching out. He told him that it meant a lot. He released Starsky, who took his leave, promising he would see him tomorrow. Hutch stood on the landing and watched Starsk drive away, knowing he'd made the right decision.

After Starsky got home, he grabbed a beer and flopped down on the couch. He felt better than he had in a long time. It had been so good to see Hutch again. He was glad that Hutch was willing to hear him out, and that he hadn't dismissed what he had to say. Starsky knew he wanted Hutch and no one else. Six or eight months ago, thoughts like that never would have crossed his mind, but now things were totally different. As he got ready for bed, he prayed that he got the chance to make the dream he'd been having come true.

Hutch lay in the darkness thinking about the day he'd had. Starsky had surprised him in many ways. He was glad that they were able to clear the air about some things, and it made him very happy to know that the time they'd spent apart hadn't seemed to hurt their friendship. He was very curious about what caused Starsky to start having sex dreams about him, and he intended to talk to Starsky about that. The high point of Hutch's day had been when Starsky told him that he wanted him. He knew he was going to tell Starsky 'yes' because he would be a fool to pass up his heart's desire. As he drifted off to sleep, he smiled.

The next morning found both Starsky and Hutch looking forward to what the day may bring. Hutch went for a run, then came home and had breakfast. Starsky had coffee with toast then showered and dressed. He reached for the phone and called Hutch......

“Hutchinson.....”

“Hey, blintz..... what's up?”

“Just getting ready to shower...... what's going on with you?”

“Just wanted to call and say hi and see what you were doing.....”

“There's nothing wrong with that, Starsk. By the way, are you still coming over today?”

“Definitely!”

“I was hoping you would say that..... what do you feel like doing?”

“I thought we could talk some more, you know?”

“That sounds fine with me. Head over here when you get ready.....”

“Sounds good, Hutch...... I'll see you soon.....”

Starsky ended the call, and Hutch couldn't have been happier. A little while later, Hutch was working in his greenhouse when Starsky called out to him; “Yo, Hutch.....”

“Be there in a minute.....”

Hutch finished what he was doing and headed to the living room to greet Starky.....

“Hey, you.....”

“Hey yourself..... were you busy?”

“Just tending to my plants.... would you like a beer?”

“You bet'cha!”

Hutch grabbed two beers and took them to the living room. He gave one to Starsky and they both sat down on the couch......

“Starsk, I have a question.....”

“What's that, buddy?”

“I was wondering if you had any idea how the sex dream started.....”

“I honestly don't know, Hutch..... it had been a while since I'd had a date, and I was startin' to miss it. I do remember digging out some of my Playboys so I could take care of business but that didn't happen because I started thinking about you. I was missing you very much that night. I had another beer and went to bed. That was the first night I had the dream.....”

“So, you think that missing me is what caused them?”

“That's the only thing I can come up with......”

Hutch sat there thinking about what Starsky told him and it gave him an idea.....

“Hey, Starsk?”

“Yeah?”

“You wanna show me what happened in the dream?”

“Hell, yes! I thought you'd never ask.....”

Starsky moved closer to Hutch on the couch and Hutch leaned in and gently kissed Starsky. The two broke apart, and Starsky put a hand on each side of Hutch's face for another kiss. Hutch deepened the kiss and when the two came up for air, Starsky told Hutch he was one hell of a kisser. Hutch laughed and told Starsky he wasn't so bad himself. Things progressed from there and the two men started to explore each other. They felt an electric jolt as their denim covered cocks rubbed against each other, and Hutch asked Starsky if he was ready for the bedroom. He jumped up and grabbed Hutch by the hand, leading the way.

Once in the bedroom, the two men set about making their dreams come true. When it was over, Starsky noticed Hutch laying next to him with his eyes closed, saying a silent prayer.....

“Babe?”

“Yeah, Starsk?”

“Are you okay?”

“Definitely okay.... how 'bout you?”

“I'm great..... Hutch?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember when you left my apartment that night, you said something about maybe if you closed your eyes, how you felt would go away?”

“I do remember that.....”

“Babe, open your eyes for me, please?”

Hutch opened his eyes and looked into Starsky's indigo eyes......

“Babe, you don't have to close your eyes anymore, because I'm here to stay.....”

The End


End file.
